a Sunday comic.

there's a lightning storm each and every night

Not having seen the entirety of Underworld: Evolution (and not intending to), I think I should make clear one thing I have observed from the projection booth as I work:
Kate Beckinsale is insanely gorgeous, and I would kill the Pope, Buddha, AND the Emperor of Siam if she asked me to.

Do you dispute me on this? Well, obviously, you must be a Communist and a dirty liberal hippie as well. Go back to Haight & Ashbury. Here's a newsflash: the Dead are dead. Get a shower, you son of a--

Oh. Sorry. Kind of went off on a tangent there. But, yes.
KATE BECKINSALE IS AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS.





Ok. I've officially been single too long.

Info-dump.

Last night, while I was falling asleep masturbating to softcore on cinemax* listening to a Dane Cook cd, an idea came to me about what to write about today: Everyone has random thoughts, right? Just the completely bizarre stuff that you tend to obsess a bit about, and then forget until later. I know I do. So what I'm going to do is compile a list of the topics you'd Google if you had access to my head and wanted to know what the fuck has been running through my mind this week (other than its normal program of fear and loathing). So here we go!

• Eddie Izzard Sexie double cd. While not as consistently funny as Glorious or Dressed to Kill, and not as gleefully blasphemous as Circle (Blas-phe-my!!! Blas-phe-you!! Blas-phe-everybody in the room!!), Eddie's newest release is still one of the funnier things you will ever listen to that's from a modern stand-up. Sample line from the beginning of the show: "I had breast envy! I didn't have penis envy. I had penis nonchalance."

• Infinite Crisis. Driving home the point to me that I know way too much about DC comics history (both Pre- and Post-Crisis [the original]), especially since I never read DC when I was younger, and hardly read any non-Morrison DC now. But, on the whole, an enjoyable mini-series that seems to be getting the "universe threatening crossover!!!111!!1!!" thing right. (Unlike House of M, which was teh suck.) Superboy-Prime going ape-shit was pretty cool, actually.
  

• Harvey Danger Little by Little... album. I posted about this very briefly before, just to get the word out about it, but the Danger boys released their newest album as a free download on their website. I'd suggest downloading it, because it's an excellent slice of indie-rock and well worth your time. I've been listening to it pretty constantly on my iPod, Motherboxxx, especially while at work.
  

• Grant Morrison is the fucking man. Well, duh. Seven Soldiers, All-Star Superman, added atop his already impressive resume of THINGS THAT I LOVE? I am a manwhore for him, in a way your tiny non-5D brains can't even comprehend.

• NEXTWAVE Did I hype this up enough? FUCK NO. It's even funnier than I thought it was going to be. Deal with it.

• Hunter S Thompson. Still in the throes of my HST obssesion. Currently re-reading Fear and Loathing in America: The Gonzo Letters vol 2, and let me tell you: I am still in thrall to this man's writing. Sweet Jesus. Did I just say that? Can they hear me?
  

• Sin City. I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, easily my favorite of last year, and while I generally watch the whole thing (I have the Extended Special Edition DVD), there's one section which I love far and away more than the rest:Clive Owen as Dwight is so amazingly bad-ass. I don't have a DVD drive in my computer, otherwise I'd get a screencap of my favorite shot in the movie (him jumping down the manhole, both guns blazing downwards).

• Driving. Not really pop-culture related or anything, but I'm finding it disturbing how I just zone out when driving to work or class. I literally have no memory of driving these places, unless something unusual happens to make me remember. I get to both places on time, with no accidents or mishaps, but it still weirds me out that I can unconsciously do something as complicated (and let's face it, dangerous) as operating an automobile and not have any memory of it.

• More Driving. Has anyone else ever thought about what it would be like to swerve into the oncoming traffic, just to see what it would be like....? No, just me? Ok.

• Insomnia. It leads me to make things like this:Christopher Walken is your new personal lord and savior. He's also running for president. Vote for him. Or don't. It's your choice. But he'll swallow your soul if you don't.
  

• Anthropic Principle. Doctrine of quantum physics that states that one explanation for why the universe has the properties we observe is that, were the properties different, it is likely that life would not form and therefore we would not be here to observe the changes. Discuss.

• Monty Python's Flying Circus. I need to get the DVDs of the episodes, since I am wearing out my VHS tapes through constant watching. My favorite sketch EVER from the show is The Penguin Atop the Television Set. It is pure bizarre genius.

• I am old. Well, older. And while I have adjusted to this, every so often I get reminded of it, and I curse time and its chronological momentum. Damn you, minutes/hours/years! Damn you all to hell!

Ok, that was fun. I'll have to do this again sometime.


*Actually, it was Showtime.

shiver awake.

Give me a reason to wake up tomorrow. Tell me that everything is fine, and that no matter the outcome of this hand-spun moment to moment diary of consciousness that we refer to as "living", that I'll be remembered after I've gone the way of the dodo.

I know what you're thinking: this is probably not what you want to hear or read or see or know, and I'm sorry for that, but I am nothing if not direct and uncensored on the interwebs. Madness and self-abuse are my specialties, I admit, and while I can sing more songs of disaffection and loneliness, the perfection of it eludes me still, so I shall continue on in the mad nervous rush to include every single phrase into the contents of everything else. "Holographic writing", I call it, wherein the sum is contained in every part.

Thank you, Mr Morrison, for introducing me to this world of prim and chaos and randomness. I am random anyway, so the concept of a random world is not that surprising to me, and this is how I think when I am alone. I know I've said that I'm fine, but I would want you to ask anyway, as I am fragile and prone to breaking down the tiniest detail and turning it into fodder for the late-night parade of parasitic wordplay. The cold air spreads from windows through curtains and breaks my concentration...

They just killed the people on the TV, I am shocked and amused and am waiting for something to go wrong again, as is my wont. Someday I'll fail to breathe, and what then? Will there be a soul who remembers my time in this shell, spreading my sigils and strands of memories, like quantum strings in 5th dimensional compressions. I know I've said that I don't care, but something in me does, I swear, and I'm not smiling but I am. I smile when I mean it. Give me a meaning, add contentment to these words and all the fallacies dissolve into meaninglessness and I will explode from effect preceding cause. My postcard has been backdated to last summer, and it says "Wish I was There". Rings around fingers, and I will never get it back, but I don't care. I have a reason, I've found reason in random and madness and chaos and rhythm and music, and honestly, who could ask for anything more?

Hooray for today!

G0DLAND tpb and NEXTWAVE #1.

All is right in the world. For now.*




*I promise I will be writing more soon. Just been hitting a writer's block the size of King Kong Bundy lately.

I'm stuck in the middle, between what is and what might be

I do my best work creatively in the 3-4AM range, but I also end up weird and crazy because of it. This is the inherent conundrum in my artistic endeavors, and I think explains alot to my addled brain about why artists in general are tortured. They need something wrong with them in order to facilitate the existence of their work. Show me an artist who is not flawed, or broken in some way, or without faults, and I will show you a poseur.

I'm sorry, I forgot where I was going with this. I still can't sleep. And while I know I will regret this tomorrow when I attempt to awaken, I am still unable to force myself to sleep. And its not even as if I'm doing anything important. I am waiting for inspiration to hit me for my unfinished story, or for another one to begin. I am waiting for a lightning storm to knock out the power so I can sit in the complete silence that only comes in the abscence of humanity and all its trappings and bring clarity to my mistreated head. I am waiting for something to go right.

Still waiting.

Nope, didn't think so.

Still awake at the peak of exhaustion, nerves frazzled and raw from dealing with rampant stupidity on a daily basis and from answering questions that have no real answers, and full of piss and vinegar and extract of whiskey, I let all off the hook with one simple statement: "I'm ok." And truly, I am, nothing affects me nearly as much as it seems, but then again, when something truly DOES affect me, I don't let on. I keep it bottled up like nitroglycerine in the dark corner of my mind that doesn't allow light to escape, much less thought or feeling, until it expands and eventually explodes in bursts of creativity, or ambiguous rantings, or all-out stress anxiety attacks. I haven't had a full-on meltdown for awhile now, and I have been quite grateful for that. Work and play have not caused as much stress or anger, but lately its been increasing exponentially almost every day. Hypocrisy, shortsightedness, idiocy, rampant and blatant contempt: it's all been there, and more. All directed at yours truly, through no fault or deservingness of my own, only due to the fact that I happen to be the nearest target, and I make such a lovely target. Fire away boys, he can take it. Well, mister, I have two words for you: "Fuck" and "Off".

I'm hoping this wears off soon. I feel like I should be happier than I am, but I never seem to be. I am full of promises and regrets and indifference, but I want to at least feel something other than ennui and disappointment for once. "There's no consolation prize; there's no prize for consolation." Whatever. None of this makes any sense to me right now. I'm sure I'll delete this in the morning (afternoon; whenever I wake up). I just wish I knew what to do. I never do. Having direction would be nice for once, other than "vaguely downwards."

Fear and loathing.

"We're your friends; we're not like the others."

Betty, you can call me "Al".

Al Gore made a speech recently taking the Bush regime (not administration anymore, they've gone beyond that) to task for all its "indiscretions" and flat out illegal activities. The speech is so great, and it's a shame Al didn't deliver things with this much verve and vigor during his campaign 6 years ago. But in any event, rather than quote the whole thing (which I would, because it's that good), here's my favorite section:

The Dean of Yale Law School, Harold Koh, said after analyzing the Executive Branch's claims of these previously unrecognized powers: "If the President has commander-in-chief power to commit torture, he has the power to commit genocide, to sanction slavery, to promote apartheid, to license summary execution."

The fact that our normal safeguards have thus far failed to contain this unprecedented expansion of executive power is deeply troubling. This failure is due in part to the fact that the Executive Branch has followed a determined strategy of obfuscating, delaying, withholding information, appearing to yield but then refusing to do so and dissembling in order to frustrate the efforts of the legislative and judicial branches to restore our constitutional balance.

For example, after appearing to support legislation sponsored by John McCain to stop the continuation of torture, the President declared in the act of signing the bill that he reserved the right not to comply with it.

Similarly, the Executive Branch claimed that it could unilaterally imprison American citizens without giving them access to review by any tribunal. The Supreme Court disagreed, but the President engaged in legal maneuvers designed to prevent the Court from providing meaningful content to the rights of its citizens.

A conservative jurist on the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals wrote that the Executive Branch's handling of one such case seemed to involve the sudden abandonment of principle "at substantial cost to the government's credibility before the courts."

As a result of its unprecedented claim of new unilateral power, the Executive Branch has now put our constitutional design at grave risk. The stakes for America's representative democracy are far higher than has been generally recognized.

These claims must be rejected and a healthy balance of power restored to our Republic. Otherwise, the fundamental nature of our democracy may well undergo a radical transformation.

- Daily Kos

Wow. Go get 'em, Al.

Holy smoke.

"Mayor C. Ray Nagin said Monday that the hurricanes that devastated [New Orleans] last summer were a sign that 'God is mad at America'"
- LA Times

You've got to be kidding me. How can anyone honestly believe that God is mad at a city, enough so to cause it to practically sink into the ocean? I mean, people back in the Bible days were dumb, so I can see how they'd think that, and besides most of what's written in the Bible is metaphor and not meant to be literal (and in some cases, blatantly contradictory or false, but that's another rant entirely...), but surely, if God wanted to sink a city, wouldn't he choose somewhere more "morally reprehensible", like San Francisco, NYC, or Las Vegas, or Los Angeles? Those places are all pretty much "dens of sin", right? (Not in my view, thanks.)

Or, better yet, if he were a benevolent God, Washington DC. While WBush, Cheney, DeLay, Wolfowitz, and HWBush were there. And they'd be struck by lightning. 7 times. Then drowned. And sharks would eat them. Except for Cheney. Because even sharks don't fuck with him.

Yeah, I'm sadistic. Eat me.

My faith in the intelligence and common sense of humanity dwindles daily, and that's without even reading any entertainment news today. God only knows, if I see one more thing about Paris, Kevin Federline, or Tom Cruise, I might just have to flip out and kill mammals ninja-style. I don't have faith in much of anything these days. Other than in Grant Morrison, Douglas Coupland, the Lawrence Arms, Wes Anderson, and Darren Aronofsky. They seem to be hitting all the right notes every time.

Oh, and music. I believe in music.

Fear and Loathing in New Jersey part 1

Hunter S. Thompson was one of the few people in life who I would willingly call "my hero." He was a truly original writer, a sharp political satirist, a cynical humorist, and he had balls bigger than Canada. When I found out he died last year (February 20th, of a self-inflicted gunshot wound), it was one of the ONLY times since I was very little that someone's death who was not a personal relative actually affected me. I can't even attempt to describe why and how I felt connected to this man, but for some strange reason, I did.

As such, every week up to the anniversary of his death, I will be posting some of my favorite quotes from him, and a picture I think represents him as he was: American... free-spirited... wild... anarchic... Gonzo.

"If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up."
-interview

"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity"
- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"We are turning into a nation of whimpering slaves to Fear— fear of war, fear of poverty, fear of random terrorism, fear of getting down-sized or fired because of the plunging economy, fear of getting evicted for bad debts, or suddenly getting locked up in a military detention camp on vague charges of being a Terrorist sympathizer."
- Kingdom of Fear

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
- attributed.

...the hell?

I have not been reading Spider-man titles at all, mostly because they haven't interested me one bit since "the Clone Saga" of the late 90's (the less said of THAT, the better). I've kept up on the events in them through Wizard (until a few years ago, when I realized Wizard is crap), and more recently, online blogs and newssites. So, I knew a bit about the current storyline "The Other" going through all the titles. Peter is sick, going to die, big-ass vampire-esque dude tears his eye out and eats it, Pete goes nuts and into a cocoon, attacks vampire man and tears his head off, and apparently... other stuff happened. Like I said, I don't read them.

BUT

Now they're giving him a new costume. I don't know the reasoning behind it, but it doesn't matter, because there are FOUR perfect costumes in super-hero comics that you DON'T FUCK WITH TOO MUCH: Superman, Batman, the Flash, and FUCKING SPIDER-MAN.

ahem.

Sorry, got carried away, but here, witness the monstrosity for yourself:
I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it. It's ugly and stupid and pointless and I hate it. And 5 bucks says it doesn't last a year.

In other brief news, I cut my hair off.

Coming soon: Why every super-hero comic not written by Grant Morrison or Warren Ellis is crap. Watch the fire come out of my ears!!

Prepare for backlash in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2..

Good god, has anyone else seen this?

Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity. In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess. This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women And Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.

"The use of the word 'annoy' is particularly problematic," says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. "What's annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else."

So what this means is, your opinions, as long as someone else disagrees with you, can be held against you in a court of law, but only if you don't sign your name to them. The quote from the ACLU rep is the most illuminating to me, actually. Who's to say Conservative Republicans don't find Liberal blogs annoying, and vice versa? This seems a pretty blatant attack of Free Speech. But I don't want to name names, as I could be arrested...

Oh what the hell, why not. Fuck Bush, and fuck the Republican party. Not that I'm a Democrat supporter either, to be honest. I think both parties are corrupt and intent on keeping this country locked into a two-party system which offers no real viable choice anyway. But as George and his buddies seem intent on turning us more and more into a police state ruled by fear and terrorism (look up the definition for the word, and see if it doesn't describe the "terror alerts" from a year plus ago), they earn my wrath at this moment.

So yeah, hopefully (and I'm willing to bet) this law gets changed fairly quickly, or some major shit will go down. Maybe. Probably. I think.

just say you never met me

Short post, because I feel the need to get this out to ya'll. 'Cause who loves ya likes I do? No ones, thats who!

Harvey Danger, an indie rock band who had a brief flirtation with fame due to the success of their single "Flagpole Sitta" (you know the song; "paranoia, paranoia, everyone is comin to get me..." Yeah, that one.), have released their new album, Little by Little..., online as a free download/torrent. I suggest you get it, because they are an amazing band that was left by the way-side of one-hit-wonder-dom, and deserve all the attention they can get.

So yes. Get it here. And love it.

The motherfucking boat is exploding!

One of my secrets I usually don't let people know is that I still read comic books. I don't know why it is necessary to keep it a secret, but there is a certain stigma attached to those who read them. Y'know, basically, its encapsulated by the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.


I am, as should be obvious below, not one of them.


Hmm, probably not the best picture to use. Eh, whatever. I'm too lazy to change it now.

My point is that I am not the stereotypical comics fan, nor am I a slavish speculator who buys everything then immediately places them in hermetically sealed bags within climate-controlled longboxes in order to preserve them for eternity. In fact, the few I buy end up in piles after I've read them, in order to be read again at a later date. 'Cause, see, I like to read them.

As a medium, comics have a reputation of being juvenile adolescent power fantasies. And yes, some.. in fact, most, still are. But there is some surprisingly deep and meaningful themes and writing contained in others. See: anything by Alan Moore. And, as always, there is also some kick-ass hyper-science insanity. Mostly thanks to Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis. Which brings me to the point of this entry...

NEXTWAVE is a new series by the aforementioned Mr. Ellis, which looks like most super-hero comics on crystal meth, PCP, and acid at the same time. There's an interview here from the editor of it. There's a press conference interview here with the writer which contains my favorite quote of the moment: "On Sunday I killed someone, and when I left the church, I carved 'NEXTWAVE' into his chest. I hope the papers pick up on that." And it has its OWN FRIGGIN' THEME SONG. Which is catchy as all hell. Can't beat the tagline either: "Nextwave: Healing America by beating people up." Plus, it has a giant dragon named "Fin Fang Foom" in it. That's got to count for something.

And, to summarize:

SO yeah, in conclusion, if you don't like it, don't read it. But eff you if you think I'm not going to. As long as I have the (small amount of required) money and the ability to, I will enjoy my sequential art.

Just, do me a favor.... if I say I'm reading something by Rob Liefeld or Chuck Austen, shoot me. In the head. It'll be for the best.



PS. for further reading, might I suggest The Invisibles by Grant Morrison, about anarchists, metaphysics, drugs, sex, the counter culture, and quantum physics; From Hell by Alan Moore, about the Jack the Ripper murders (and loads better than the movie); and Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis, about gonzo journalism, pop-culture, and cynicism. All goodness, all love, all the time.

The crazy things I like to read about, Pt. 2

One way to activate the religious impulse is through the calculated use of intimidation and fear. The mechanism is familiar enough and needs little elaboration. A generalized adversary is posited -Satan, for example, the Antichrist, Communism, Terrorists. This adversary is then made to appear more and more pervasive, more and more monstrous in its proportions, more and more threatening to all that one holds dear -the family, the quality of life, the homeland. Having generated sufficient panic, one needs only offer oneself or one's own institution as a bulwark, a rampart, a refuge, a haven of safety. The so-called "lessons of history" should have taught us by now to see through such devices. And yet their continued efficacy is demonstrated by even a casual glance at today's world. We live in a world of labels and slogans, most of which denote either a supposed dire adversary or a supposed bastion of salvation from it.

At the same time, there are more subtle stratagems. Politicians, for example, will often make appeals to reason or common sense -or what often purports to be reason or common sense. They will also, as everyone knows, be profligate in making promises. Such promises are pitched specifically to people's expectations and needs, and often have little or no likelihood of fulfillment. But by making such a promise, one is implicitly acknowledging these expectations and needs. And this recognition, frequently enough, is in itself sufficient. The promise need not necessarily be kept. Indeed, it is generally accepted as liable to breakage, and one will not usually be called to account for breaking it. The recognition of needs and expectations which it implies is deemed an adequate token of good intent. So disillusioned have we become that a mere token of good intent will not only appease us, but furnish us with a repository of trust.

It is a truism today that modern politics relies heavily on the media. What this means in practice is that modern politics depends on its ability to use the media's potential for advertising. During the last half a century, it has become increasingly apparent that the acquisition of trust is very much a matter of promotion, publicity, and public relations. Politics, policies and politicians are now presented in the same fashion as commodities. In other words, they must be "sold." To this end, all the techniques of advertising are skillfully deployed, including numerous techniques of psychological manipulation.

- excerpted from The Messianic Legacy, by Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh, and Henry Lincoln

Sixty Percent.

"James Moore is an Emmy-winning former television news correspondent and the co-author of the bestselling, Bush's Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential. He has been writing and reporting from Texas for the past 25 years on the rise of Rove and Bush and has traveled extensively on every presidential campaign since 1976. This author was placed on the no fly list. Two points: one- there's nothing you or I can do to help him but make this public, and two- we are all targets here."

Full story here

Does this worry anybody else? That a person with no connections to terrorists or extremist groups, who's been a political writer that has traveled with presidents for the past 30 years, and just so happened to write a book that was negative about the current administration, is now rendered unable to fly? And, of course, no one in power will tell him why, or how to fix it.

THIS is why I worry about the future of our government.

A while ago, I came up with this theory about how we've entered the death throes of the "American Empire," mostly through comparisons of our pop-culture to Britain's pop-culture in the 1880's through WWI. I later found an interview with Grant Morrison where he said essentially the same thing. And I still believe it, and examples like this lead me to believe that some certain people are hastening this cycle, in order to profit in some way off it. I'm not sure how, but it's on the tip of my brain, like a long-forgotten memory from childhood that you can just barely recall.

I'll probably write about it more at some point. I'm too angry to do it right now.

------------------------------

And in somewhat related news, David Letterman verbally bitchslaps Bill O'Reilly.

My favorite part is the obvious contempt Dave has for pretty much everything Billy says. God Bless you, David Letterman.

Working hard.

As you can see, I have a very taxing and demanding job.

Naps are awesome.

We dream of ways to break these iron bars.

For awhile, from about 1999-2004 I was fairly interested in politics. I would read all the various news sites, pick up books by political commentators, watch TV news (except for FOX News Channel, since they're the devil), and generally keep up with what was going on in the nation. The first "election" of George W. Bush just increased my verve and vigor for this, and when the 2nd election came rolling around, I was a fire-breathing helldemon for getting him out of office.

As should be obvious, he won.

Since that time, I've become increasingly more and more disillusioned with politics and the media, and yes, the American people. I couldn't believe that someone who was so odious to me, and to, it seems, most people of intelligence, could convince so many people of his competence at a job that he kind of... well almost... ok, didn't really get elected to. The media was apparently just laying back and saying to the White House "Go ahead, guys, give it to us raw, we like it like that.", and the politics of change had ceased to be. At least to me. I mean, this is the type of stuff that drove Hunter Thompson to suicide, and if my hero couldn't outlast it, what could I do?

So I dropped out.

I still pay some form of attention to the news, but only superficially, and even then I end up complaining more about what they're not saying. I only really go to one or two news sites anymore, and they're not mainstream US ones. I read Al Franken's new book, The Truth (With Jokes) and enjoyed it, but it made me angry as well. But for the most part, I am out of politics, maybe for good. I get too frustrated, and there's too much lying and half-truths and willful misuse of power, and while I expect a little bit of that (it's the nature of the Beast), this is getting ridiculous.

But.

But, every so often, I find something that gives me a little bit of hope that there is some sort of reprieve in the near future. Whether short- or long-term, who knows. Really, no solution is long-term, as anything man-made is inherently transient. Even me.

In any event, politics and politicians (especially Conservative Republicans) give me migranes. Pop-culture, though... that's a different headache... and a different blog.