MEANWHILE:

Back at the Mall of Justice...!

AQUAMAN BUYS SOME 9 VOLT BATTERIES!

BATMAN SHOPS AROUND FOR THE BEST PRICE FOR A NEW VCR!

WONDER WOMAN WAITS IN LINE AT ARTHUR TREACHER'S FISH 'N CHIPS!

THE FLASH BUYS NEW SHOES!

SUPERMAN HANGS OUT IN THE GAP RIGHT NEXT TO THE DRESSING ROOM!

BLACK LIGHTNING CONSIDERS SWITCHING TO A NEW CELLPHONE PLAN!

APACHE CHIEF IS DRUNK IN THE PARKING LOT!

THE WONDER TWINS GO TO VICTORIA'S SECRET. TOGETHER. THAT'S...ACTUALLY PRETTY CREEPY!

ROBIN IS SMOKING BY THE ENTRANCEWAY WITH SOME UNSAVORY FOLKS!

HAWKMAN SEARCHES FRANTICALLY FOR THE PAC SUN!

GREEN LANTERN PLAYS MARVEL VS CAPCOM IN THE ARCADE FOR 3 HOURS!

BRAINIAC SIGNS UP FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A NEW CAR!

WENDY AND MARVIN CONTINUE TO BE USELESS!

VIXEN RUNS UP THE DOWN ESCALATOR!

LEX LUTHOR AND SOLOMON GRUNDY GET NICKED FOR SHOPLIFTING CDS FROM SAM GOODYS!

BOOSTER GOLD BUYS SOME DIPPIN' DOTS!

GREEN ARROW EATS A SANDWICH AND FLIRTS WITH HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS!

ORACLE IS BEING STARED AT BY SMALL CHILDREN!

PLASTIC MAN BUYS A CUSTOM AIRBRUSHED TSHIRT OF BART SIMPSON WITH DREADLOCKS!

HAWKGIRL BEATS UP THE WOMAN WHO SPRAYS HER WITH A PERFUME SAMPLE!

BLACK CANARY DEMANDS A REFUND ON HER FULLSCREEN DVD!

NIGHTWING ATTEMPTS TO RETURN A SWEATER WITHOUT A RECEIPT!

THE QUESTION AND THE HUNTRESS MAKEOUT IN THE BACK HALLWAY!

ZATANNA BUYS A NEW HAT AT H&M!

GORILLA GRODD PLAYS WITH THE KITTIES AT THE PET STORE!

DONNA TROY STILL DOESN'T GET THE APPEAL OF JUICY COUTURE!

BLUE BEETLE KEEPS LOOKING IN WALDENBOOKS BUT DOESN'T BUY ANYTHING!
alternate: BLUE BEETLE APPLIES FOR A JOB AT HOT TOPIC!

MAXWELL LORD BECOMES VERY CROSS WITH AN UNHELPFUL EMPLOYEE AT AMERICAN EAGLE!

GUY GARDNER SHOPS AT THE LEATHER STORE FOR A NICE BELT!

ORION GETS IN A FIGHT OUT FRONT OF RADIOSHACK AND IS KICKED OUT OF THE MALL!

DARKSEID ENJOYS A CINNAMON SUGAR PRETZEL!

GLEEK GETS DETAINED BY ANIMAL CONTROL FOR EBOLA CONTAMINATION!

JASON TODD SPENDS OVER $12 TRYING TO WIN A STUFFED RABBIT FROM A CRANE MACHINE!

MARTIAN MANHUNTER THOUGHT THERE WAS A CINNABON HERE, BUT IT MUST HAVE CLOSED OR SOMETHING!

LADY SHIVA CAN'T FIND THAT TOP IN HER SIZE!

IMPULSE SPENDS TWO HOURS MAKING A MIXED BAG OF JELLYBELLYS IN MISTER BULKYS!

JOHN STEWART JUST HAD HIS CREDIT CARD DECLINED!

MISTER MIRACLE PLAYS GUITAR IN THE PARKING LOT FOR QUARTERS!

R'AS AL GHUL BUYS A FABULOUS COUCH AT POTTERY BARN!

SUPERGIRL LOOKS THROUGH THE CLEARANCE RACK IN MACYS!

POWER GIRL FINDS A USED SEGA DREAMCAST AT GAMESTOP!

CAPTAIN ATOM CAN'T GET IN TO SEE WATCHMEN BECAUSE HE LEFT HIS ID AT HOME!

SPEEDY DOES HEROIN IN THE MENS ROOM!

THE JOKER BUYS A NICE FRAMED PRINT OF THE KRAMER PORTRAIT AT THE FRAME STORE!

WALLY WEST CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN SARKU JAPAN AND CHINESE WOK!

ETRIGAN IS ANGRY THAT F.Y.E. IS SOLD OUT OF PEARL JAM'S "TEN"!

and then they all went home and had chocolate milkshakes.

contributions from nicholasreed, newageamazon, thebeak
Yes, sometimes twitter leads to ridiculousness.