In Which I Mock and Roundly Disparage Double Oh Seven

At my job (at which I am naturally the greatest and most beloved employee*), I get rather bored occasionally. It is, as most jobs outside of creative fields are, very repetitive. Thus, I tend to read a lot, or write a lot, or text/twitter a lot. And it was while doing the latter that the following list was conceived, in a fit of intense retardation creative genius. You may thank me later, all of you, in various forms of currency.

In any event, this is a list of alternate titles of James Bond movies. Because you demanded it.**

JAMES BOND IN:

• The Minuteness Of Sadosity.
• The Smallest Of Helpings.
• The Physics Of Spangly Objects.
• The Tiniest Of Comforts.
• The Small Things That Accumulate In The Back Of Your Junk Drawer And You Don't Know How To Make Use Of Them So You Leave Them There.
• Beware All Foreigners.
• The Fabulous Fabulous.
• Lie Back And Think Of England Or You Will Get A Smack In The Mouth.
• Noun Action Verb Conjunction Sexual Entendre.
• This Is Not The Newest Bond Film Or Is It.
• Dalek Invasion 2021!
• Fairy Bum Bum Boys pt. 7: Wot's All This Then?
• How I Learned To Stop Worrying Because Britain Is Great.
• Enjoy Your Clams, Cocksuckers.

As you can see, they got increasingly ridiculous as I went along. And I hope to have at least two of them in production within the next 3 years, funding permitting. Would you care to invest? I am looking for investors. Email me, and we can discuss terms. I wouldn't hesitate to throw around the words "Box Office Bonanza." But that's just me.


* This might be hyperbole, or it might not. Who can really say?
** You did not demand it.