the opening salvo

So, here we go. First post in an "official" blog thats not myspace or livejournal. I'm pretty sure I'll still use them too, of course. I'll probably use myspace for songs and more "arty" writing, and LJ for boring day-to-day stuff. This will be for my long expository posts on things of a philosophical nature. I'll try to post as much as the muse allows. We'll see how it goes.

In any event, on with the show...


I'm not that guy.

On the way home the other night from a show, I was just driving along and thinking, as usual. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm not that guy. I don't have tattoos. I don't put on makeup. I don't wear girl jeans. I don't pander to people in order to be loved, then dump them as soon as their usefulness is done. So, basically, I'm not the typical musician in a rock band. At least the typical kind these days.

I know its the popular conception of rock musicians as degenerates who sleep with as many girls (preferably underaged) as possible, who dress provocatively in order to inspire lust in those viewing them, and who generally put out the image of "someone you wouldn't bring home to daddy." But I've never found myself attracted to this way of life. I started in music because I love playing it, and love having people listen to it. And to be honest, I'd be perfectly happy playing anonymously for the rest of my life, if it meant that people would hear it. Hide me behind a mask, a pseudonym, whatever. Just get my music out there.

And this is why modern music continues to baffle me, and modern relationships as well. (AHAH, you thought I was not going to cross that bridge again; well, you thought wrong.) Everything, more and more, seems to be based on image: the young hip indie rock band with the elegantly disheveled hair, practicing their looks of faint disinterest in the mirror, in preparation for their SPIN photoshoot. : the studio-technology-assisted pop songstress who doesn't have a whole lot of vocal range or talent, but boy, look at them titties, eh? : the goth punkers establishing themselves by how they dress rather than what they're playing. I'm not calling "sell-out" or anything (since I hate that term), and I don't want this to be taken as sour grapes, but it does confuse me, as a musician myself. I would like to be taken seriously, and have people hear me on a larger scale. But to do that, must I compromise my sense of moral propriety, and personal ideals? I don't think I can.

And this is connected to relationships how? I'm glad you asked.
I go by the same principles in life, as well as music. The reliance on pure physicality (while MUCH MUCH more obvious in love) is a similar thread through both. I'm not saying I never consider physical attractiveness as being a part of the equation, but thats EXACTly what it is: a PART. Not the whole thing, which a large portion of the population seems to disregard. "Yeah, shes a little dumb, but MAN, is she hot." "Sure, he's hit me, but only twice, and I know he'll never do it again. I love my muscle man."

I forgot where I was going with this originally, but I do remember my ultimate point: I'm not that guy. And I'm never going to be. I'm fine with that, and maybe someone can accept that. But this world seems to be going downhill faster every day (in many ways), and everything I do has a definite shelf-life on it anyway.

So, I will continue to do my music and whatnot, tattoo-less, in regular pants, and without makeup. And hopefully, with work and some luck, something will come of it. More than likely not, but I'm never not going to try.
I'm not the guy to not try.

(by the by, this is not a reference to anyone I know personally, more of a reflection of prevailing attitudes and trends in society. So no one be offended, k? K.)